Archive for the Category ◊ Merchandise ◊

• Saturday, July 07th, 2012

The beginning of EVOLUTION 2012 started out with a bang, with the announcement that Persona 4: Arena for the PS3 will be region-locked.

Since the article I linked to is just too wordy, I’ll copy and paste the important bits.

[…] we are not doing this out of malice or a desire to control.
The decision to region-lock P4 Arena was a business one, […]
[…] the dramatic difference between the Yen and the Dollar makes
for a dramatic difference in price.

 Indeed, the reason for region-locking was not out of malice or a desire to control. It was simply an innocent act wrought from harmless greed. God bless capitalism!


• Friday, June 22nd, 2012

Arcana Heart 3 never took off like I hoped and prayed it would. People were just too afraid of getting vanned.

So now I have to place my hopes on the next craze from Japan: Persona 4: The Ultimate in Mayonaka Arena, also known as “P4U” for short. It is a collaboration between Atlus (Shin Megami Tensei, Digital Devil) and Arc System Works (Guilty Gear, BlazBlue) to milk the money train that is Persona.

I did not play Persona 4, but if it plays out like the Shin Megami Tensei series, then it’s probably a repetitive dungeon crawler. I don’t really care for the background of this animu fighter, but I like jumping on bandwagons, so I’ll pretend to be a Persona fanboy just long enough to work my penis into the pants of one of these annoying Persona fangirls.

Remember to pre-order your copy today! more…

• Thursday, May 03rd, 2012

So in commemoration of the Avengers movie opening tonight, I decided to browse through my old blog and pull up something that is no longer relevant. Note that this was written over six years ago.

Oh, and speaking of American comics… what’s with these Original English Language (OEL) manga that’s been filling up bookshelves in the manga section? Two years ago, I took it for a passing fad, but now every comic-book publisher appears to be releasing their own versions of “Home-Made Japanese”. Some of them steal the Japanese right-to-left format (I see no reason to do this since English should be read left-to-right.) and after reading the shitty stories within some of them I’m beginning to wonder if Americans are just trying to adapt all the wrong aspects of Japanese comics…?

The Hair
To quote the Shopping Blog on the thankfully-deceased Garnier’s Manga Head advertising campaign, “Looking for a wild new hair style? Garnier suggests a new style based on the popular Japanese Manga comics.” If you’re too new to the manga scene to have missed seeing the L’Oreal line making such beautiful asses of themselves, their “Manga Head” page featured images of poorly drawn dragonball-esque characters, possibly submitted by primary school students all across the United Kingdom, all with one unique characteristic: gravity-defying hair. Accompanying these awful flashy pictures were images of real people imitating the hair style with Garnier’s Fructis Style product.

So there we have it. Clear proof that one of the defining points of manga to the ignorant west are the buoyant hairstyles. There is a bit of truth to this; it would be be nigh impossible to find a manga in any shounen publication that does not make use of the pointy hair, the floating bangs or the middle antennae. However, fans of more true-to-life artist such as Ikegami Ryoichi(MAI THE PSYCHIC GIRL) and Marita Masanori (Rokudenashi Blues, Rookies) know this to be not true. […] Still, their knowledge doesn’t seem to extend beyond the scope of the hair.

The Eyes
If you were to make a comic and you wanted to call it a manga, but your Japanese vocabulary is very limited and you couldn’t draw a decent manga setting if hell came after you… how else could you affirm its status as a manga? The answer is of course, the eyes. Apparently having the eyes take up more than 40% of the face constitutes any drawn image as an official Japanese character. Sometimes giving them Japanese names like Sora, Tsubasa, Bob and the like makes them all the more authentic.

Big eyes are definitely a Japanese drawing trait, and it wouldn’t be a lie to say that the trend of bigger white:pupil ratio is influencing the drawing styles of many new and upcoming American comic artists. What separates them from the slew of other American manga-artists is that their work is still labeled “comics”.

So where exactly is the fine line drawn? I’m sure it must be the language barrier or in the inking. Maybe it is the Japanese’s heavy usage of tones to create atmosphere and moods, made obsolete in American comics because of our preference of having everything in color, or could it be…

The Setting
OELs are interestingly enough always about silly relationships, furries, vampires and goths, geeks, all of the above, or about the actual medium itself: Japanese anime and manga. In that sense, I guess there isn’t much differentiating them between their Japanese counterpart. Well, except for one thing….

The OELs are just fucking awful. A futuristic setting with samurais and gunslingers is fine… if you’re Japanese. If you’re an American, you’re better off making a story about Jedis. At least you’re playing on your own field then. It just doesn’t seem right. I used to expect class whenever I read American works, but these OELs are just killing me.

Americans are just too engrossed with making their comic more than just a “comic”, into something called “manga”, that they overcomplicate it with silly American wisdom when what they really need is something nice and simple. They could start off by making a decent story and calling it a comic. [M]any people in America have come to expect their manga to have depth (and pretty art), maybe with a slight scattering of humor throughout every chapter in moderate amounts to prevent it from becoming all serious and no play. The American “manga” I have read either take it too far with the humor, or go nowhere with the depth. It’s overall a bland read, and I sometimes stab myself at night so that I’d never pick up any american OELs again.

Anyways, It’s 6 in the morning and I’ve gotten sleepy. I’ll check back later and this post will seem very retarded in the afternoon.

And I now leave you with a picture.

Oh, so true...

• Sunday, April 01st, 2012

So I was browsing through my Android Market Google Play after a heavy Friday night of drinking Hawaiian Punch and eating a pound of Jack Link’s, when I stumbled upon this marvel of modern visual culture. It’s primary purpose is to be an interactive clock. It’s secondary purpose is to provide lonely otaku worldwide with the warmth and love that only the battery from a Smartphone could provide. Amused, I spent a hour tapping her breasts to hear her disapprove with that that cute pouty tone reminiscent of so many imaginary girlfriends from the past. It then occured to me there were alternate costumes, so even more money was lost to the pursuit of decorating this graphic barmaid.


The “Camera” tool superimposes this virtual slut into every shot.

To make things more complicated, there’s an “Impression” button which displays a white heart and a smaller heart within that grows bigger as she falls in love with you. Of course, to make her love you, the user has to do all the things that normal women usually expect: buy her gifts. Over time the heart meter starts to diminish so you have to constantly buy her fake virtual gifts from D3P’s market to ensure she stays happy. Also, like a real girl, you can get her drunk by buying her fake martinis (2$) and also by running your thumb across her cheeks (free). Strange, I know.

Seeing as how this is an application, one would think that all the yen in this game is fake, but unfortunately, it’s real. And with the exchange rate being in the current state, I will admit to having lost more than 25$USD during my brief time with Amane.

• Saturday, March 17th, 2012

They told me they were 17!

It probably wouldn’t appear to be so to many people, but Petite Princess Yucie deals with quite a bit of psychological analysis. What else do we expect from Gainax? Of course, the pedophilic content was tantalizing, but underneath that sweet sweet succulent surface is a fairly complex mesh of relationships that could very well send Carl Jung looking for phallic symbols to smoke.

First is Yucie. Our token heroine, who is unique as she lacks the beorgois attitude that seems to plague all the other girls with proper upbringing. The only exception would be Cocoloo, but she’s got issues of her own. As many of you know, Yucie was raised in the countryside by a single father, a former knight, who’s protective nature burdens our young heroine with a sense of duty and initiative. With no mother figure to compete against for her father’s love, she ultimately finds no attraction to the womenly arts like sewing, magic and tea parties. During her princess training, her only skills involve physical labor. Her first love interest: The prince, Arc. A warrior like her father.

Next is Glenda. She is the demon princess, and a skilled magic-user. In her case, the role of father and mother had been reversed. Her father, the demon king, is pathetically sensitive and unmanly. During her upbringing, her mom has always worn the pants in the relationship. Glenda ultimately comes to respect her mom, who has become not only her role model but the first hurdle in winning the monopoly on her father’s affection. To catch up to her mother she always erects a tough front and tries very hard to impress, which leads to hilarious antics and ends poorly in her favor. Deep down inside, she knows this is her weakness, but she will never admit it, lest it be known that she takes after her father. Her first love interest: The frog prince. A frail girly man.

Elmina of the Celestial Realm has spent her entire life ‘being’ the best, because anything less than perfection would seemingly disgrace her old and stern father. Watching Yucie’s father being proud of his daughter for just ‘trying’ her best shatters the walls of strictness that she imposes upon herself. A bit of reality check is late in coming; but eventually helps her stand up to the source of her depreciating self-worth: her father. Her first love interest: The old and stern Lord of Rockwell Manor. He even comes with white hair and a beard, like her… father. Noticing something?

Cocoloo had a strange life. She is from the ghost realm, so she tends to see and talk to things that aren’t there. As transparent as this will sound, Cocoloo tries not to stand out in crowds much like a ghost. She’s come to develop a shy and introverted personality from her quiet nature. Her first love interest: Yucie, the only girl outside of the ghost realm to acknowledge her, whereas she would be a passing shadow to others.

Beth joined the show late and therefore has little character development. It’s pretty clear that she’s distrustful of others, close-minded, and possesses a self-destructive personality. She sports a lone-wolf behavior most of the time, and only reveals bits of emotions when she’s with her love interest: Cocoloo — she is the only character in the show who can quietly listen to someone. Yes, Beth is a hippie with anger issues. Her father’s a tree for God’s sake.

You can tell they put a lot of thought into each character’s background and resultant personality traits. So what are you waiting for, I advice you buy it today.

• Thursday, December 29th, 2011

As always, my opinions are available uncensored on the net, because children don’t know how to use the Interweb. I do believe that is a proper noun, so I’ve capitalized it.

During the bright sunny days of winter, I like to stroll through the meadows of my childhood, and pluck flowers from the desert wasteland dirt I once called home. I then press it between the sheets of the latest John Grisham novel and adorn them on my oak bookshelf so the aroma can waft throughout the house as the flower rots. Like most Americans, I live the American dream. I wake up early to a day of gratifying hard work and meager pay, then come home to my red-brick white-picket fenced house, and sit on my tire swing until I grow wary of the smell of smog. I have running water and a toilet that flushes, what more could I ask for? Manga.

There are only two things more important to me than manga: family and food; and I’m not completely certain of the latter. I like to involve myself in politics for shits and giggles, but when an issue severely affects my way of life; or more importantly, my manga… then I get mad. If SOPA really will hinder me from downloading manga, then people must die. I like to start from the top.