Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin is one of only a few titles I deem worth watching this month. Correction, it’s one of only two titles I deem worth watching this month.

Yes, that shadow is what you think.

The other of course is Sekirei. But not for any logical reasons I can think of.

Nobody even remembers this poor sap's name.

Unfortunately Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin rips most of its comedy from Sam Raimi, and like most Japanese anime features a near-useless male lead. This would be tolerable if he had any redeeming features or hidden cards he has yet to play. However, it becomes dreadfully obvious that he has dealt everything he has to offer in the first five minutes of the second episode. And with no hint of romantic closure in the works between the two main protagonists, I believe it’s safe to say that this series will continue to be a disappointing ride through hell for just about all of us.

At least we get to see the broad naked.

Or will it? I’m willing to bet my pair of undergarments on this dark horse to revitalize whatever it had going for it in the first episode and pull into the finish with a satisfying second place. With the current lineup as it is, I don’t think of it as a longshot…

On a completely separate train of thought… what the new season of Sekirei taught me is that hanging around a sekirei long enough will force said sekirei to change gender to more suit your taste. Yea right, hitting puberty that late?

It seems the wheels of fate has tossed dog shit into my worldly fan once again…

To cut things short, and with far less emphasis on the metaphysical: I like a series called Kaichou wa Maid-sama!, but apparently watching it makes me a homosexual.

Kaichou wa Maid-sama! is about a giant prude named Misaki, or some other common household name, who has an undying hate for what I can only describe as a “trouser snake”. Of course, with an archetypal character flaw as point blank as that, you can already guess that she tends to be overly zealous when it comes to suppressing male adolescence, and with breaking glass ceilings wherever it may rear its translucent surface. Through sheer willpower (and her Aikido skills aka. fear propaganda) she acquires the right to become Seika High’s first female Student Council President. Since the girl to boy ratio is somewhere around 1:100 she feels it’s her duty to protect anything and everyone with a vagina. But wait, here’s the catch: She actually part-times as a maid at a cafe in a neighboring town. Uh oh! I almost didn’t see that one coming! How do these two seemingly conflicting perspectives of our heroine coincide? Well, finding that out is supposed to be the meat of the show.

Now reading this one would usually think, “All right! Maids! Martial-Artist Girl! Moe~!” or whatever you fake otakus like to shout in the aisles of Borders when I’m trying to enjoy my coffee and Blade of the Immortal… but here’s the downside to this, and the source of my personal anguish:

See all those flowers floating around?

It’s a fucking shoujo series.

It’s not particularly a good shoujo series that is enjoyable for both genders like NANA or Ouran High School Host Club. Rather, it’s one of those typical shoujos with a “strong” masculine heroine who can’t do anything when it matters, and needs a hot dominant man (with a sensitive side) to come rescue her in the nick of time. Let me reiterate that, a fine hot smart dominant perfect-in-every-way-just-short-of-God specimen of a man (with a sensitive side). Is there anything he can’t do? I have yet to see it, and the stupid broad falls for it. So this once again reaffirms the scientific truth that men who are not born into a rich family with the right genetic superiority must resign themselves to bedding a side character.

Bitch hides lead in her tray.

I enjoy the cute moments, and the comedic moments. But it gets really annoying to see the female lead go every episode with just one foot out of the guy’s pants. I thought she was supposed to be a feminist, but it turns out she’s just a normal girl who enjoys being dominated teased.

The little sister needs to go to acting class.

But yes, I like this series, despite all its obvious flaws. And for that, I question my sexuality.

Another year passed, and before I knew it, it was upon us again. That special time of the year where men across America put down that bottle of whiskey, and moderate the spankings to just twice-a-day. When the height of one’s lawn grass actually holds influence. The one day where everyone can feel safe that they made the right choice in refusing to pay for abortion fees. A day almost as momentous as Groundhog’s Day, but not as significant. Yes, it’s Father’s Day. more…

Fucking Capitalists.

I’m almost tempted to root for North Korea in this year’s World Cup. Unfortunately, they’re up against some decent teams, so I don’t see them making it into the top eight. But who knows?

Subtitle courtesy of Unlimited Translation Works.

Oh, and can someone explain to me Japanese Idol Videos? Some girl in a school uniform was whacking watermelons at a beach house. Then in the next scene she’s in a classroom doodling on the chalkboard in a bikini… Why?

What the shit just happened…?

…Oagggggghhh… I should have stopped watching this ages ago.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m too critical towards shounen publications. I mean, they are intended for young boys, so perhaps I shouldn’t even be reading these things… Well, if that thought had ever crossed my mind I’d be doing something productive like finding a job. Here’s my ranking on various monthly magazines targeted toward teenage boys. more…