As always, my opinions are available uncensored on the net, because children don’t know how to use the Interweb. I do believe that is a proper noun, so I’ve capitalized it.

During the bright sunny days of winter, I like to stroll through the meadows of my childhood, and pluck flowers from the desert wasteland dirt I once called home. I then press it between the sheets of the latest John Grisham novel and adorn them on my oak bookshelf so the aroma can waft throughout the house as the flower rots. Like most Americans, I live the American dream. I wake up early to a day of gratifying hard work and meager pay, then come home to my red-brick white-picket fenced house, and sit on my tire swing until I grow wary of the smell of smog. I have running water and a toilet that flushes, what more could I ask for? Manga.

There are only two things more important to me than manga: family and food; and I’m not completely certain of the latter. I like to involve myself in politics for shits and giggles, but when an issue severely affects my way of life; or more importantly, my manga… then I get mad. If SOPA really will hinder me from downloading manga, then people must die. I like to start from the top.

She knows what's up.

I’m getting sick and tired of my friends abandoning anime for this thing called “real life”. Lately, it seems whenever I try watching anime with any of my friends, they’re more concentrated on the window of their microwave than the computer screen. Apparently, the status of their Hot Pocket is more important than the escape from reality anime offers. Despite popular delusions that you can party, watch anime, go hiking and still wake up for a day of refreshing hard work at McDonalds; here’s me giving you a reality fucking check: You Can’t! If you find yourself puking in the bathroom at Denny’s from a night of drinking with “friends” then you’ve clearly already fucked up.

One of these assholes better not be you...

Besides, what does “real life” offer you that anime can not?

Action

Better than UFC.

Blood

Guaranteed more than your daily recommended intake of iron.

Comedy

Educational for all members of your family!

Drama

If you have friends, you are not an anime fan. No exceptions.

Family Life

Wake up to a piping hot cup of "Fuck you, real world".

Music

Why should you youtube anything else?

Boobies

At least these animated succubi don't cost you $$$.

So there, we’ve already proven that real life is obsolete. Anybody who wants to half-ass anime can just go to hell.