I moved to Virginia. I’m writing this through my Motorola Xoom tablet so I have to stop after every sentence for the buffer to catch up. So you’re probably wondering how I’ve managed to keep up with anime… Actually I haven’t. Actually, I hadn’t been keeping up with anything save History’s Strongest Disciple Ken-something-or-other, which I secretly enjoy reading. I guess the fact that I capitalized the title on a keyboard as laggy as this means I like it, or I am a neurotic perfectionist.

I’m looking for a place to live and so being a crass procrastinator I ended up watching War Horse. Those trailers were misleading, that goddamn horse is cursed. Nearly everyone who rode on its back died an untimely death. Clearly the message or moral or whatever is that horses make good glue.

So just

Happy New Year’s and all that good junk.

So I just finished watching the Fate/Zero anime… the first half anyways. Two things come to mind:

1. Wow, the mages in Fate/Stay Night must have been pure crap, because there is a huge gap in power levels between the servants in Fate/Zero and Fate/Stay Night.
2. Wow, changing animation studios really powered up those servants.

I think Rider is my favorite character. I especially like how he put that stupid bitch Saber in her fucking place. Go back to the hole you crawled out of you false king! Speaking of Rider, I think the Banquet of the Three Kings was one of the coolest ideas this show has surprised me with since Irisviel laid Ilya.

As always, my opinions are available uncensored on the net, because children don’t know how to use the Interweb. I do believe that is a proper noun, so I’ve capitalized it.

During the bright sunny days of winter, I like to stroll through the meadows of my childhood, and pluck flowers from the desert wasteland dirt I once called home. I then press it between the sheets of the latest John Grisham novel and adorn them on my oak bookshelf so the aroma can waft throughout the house as the flower rots. Like most Americans, I live the American dream. I wake up early to a day of gratifying hard work and meager pay, then come home to my red-brick white-picket fenced house, and sit on my tire swing until I grow wary of the smell of smog. I have running water and a toilet that flushes, what more could I ask for? Manga.

There are only two things more important to me than manga: family and food; and I’m not completely certain of the latter. I like to involve myself in politics for shits and giggles, but when an issue severely affects my way of life; or more importantly, my manga… then I get mad. If SOPA really will hinder me from downloading manga, then people must die. I like to start from the top.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZg30Dur5lM[/youtube]

So everyone that matters, that is to say, you the fans… has been tearing up for that sappy story in episode 20. Well, I have to agree the direction was remarkable, with the right buildup for Chihaya’s return to singing. But the script was lazy and boring.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0pNQfaEkM8?hd=1[/youtube]

If anything this scene from episode 21, where President Kuroi sabotages 765’s bgm was in my honest opinion the best scene to date; and let’s face it, nearly every scene in iDOLM@STER is amazing.

I can’t believe I just said that about an anime based off a milk-money fanservice franchise. Considering its roots, I guess we should be glad the characters are in color, but this series has already exceeded my expectations to a point where I can no longer remain silent.

Damn it Japan, you win again. Fuck you, idolmaster.

She knows what's up.

I’m getting sick and tired of my friends abandoning anime for this thing called “real life”. Lately, it seems whenever I try watching anime with any of my friends, they’re more concentrated on the window of their microwave than the computer screen. Apparently, the status of their Hot Pocket is more important than the escape from reality anime offers. Despite popular delusions that you can party, watch anime, go hiking and still wake up for a day of refreshing hard work at McDonalds; here’s me giving you a reality fucking check: You Can’t! If you find yourself puking in the bathroom at Denny’s from a night of drinking with “friends” then you’ve clearly already fucked up.

One of these assholes better not be you...

Besides, what does “real life” offer you that anime can not?

Action

Better than UFC.

Blood

Guaranteed more than your daily recommended intake of iron.

Comedy

Educational for all members of your family!

Drama

If you have friends, you are not an anime fan. No exceptions.

Family Life

Wake up to a piping hot cup of "Fuck you, real world".

Music

Why should you youtube anything else?

Boobies

At least these animated succubi don't cost you $$$.

So there, we’ve already proven that real life is obsolete. Anybody who wants to half-ass anime can just go to hell.

Eat up, my little piggy.

You know, I’ve been complaining that there is no watchable anime this season for like five months, and I can’t believe I never stopped to consider Kamisama Dolls. I didn’t bother doing any research on this thing… hell, I didn’t even see any pictures. Just from the name alone, I passed it off as a harem comedy and proceeded to move on with my life without even a glimpse of its content. Time moved on; each day of work taking turns dejecting what’s left of my spirit worse than the day before, through an incessant onslaught of self-hate.

Anyways, I’m really tired right now having watched all 13 episodes of the first season in one sitting, so when I actually care I’ll come back to write something about this piece. This show has more depth than what you initially see; and I must admit episode seven was by far the most depressing thing I’ve seen in anime in the past three years. It took all I had not to cry…

The most alluring characteristic of this anime for me is its duality. This anime comes off as a children’s cartoon, but is full of violence and sexual impendence. The protagonist, Kyouhei, is a 20-something loser from the countryside, but the real hero of the story is his 12-year-old sister. The “bad guy” is a near-psychotic mass-murderer, but is Kyouhei’s best friend and archnemesis. Kyouhei is actually a badass under the guise of needing a backbone.

Sometimes this anime confuses me… but I really wish I hadn’t wasted all those hours watching lesser anime when I could have just watched this instead.