I know it’s strange coming from someone like me, who is obsessed with incest, rape and mind-break; and on more than one occasion involving all three. One would assume I would be the last person to denounce homosexuality, since I’m not a moral conservative in any fashion. But I don’t express my distaste for same-gender snake eating on any religious basis; I think that homosexuality is boring.
Let me take this down a notch and explain. Lesbians and gays in anime primarily consist of the empty pipe dreams that make up the minds of naive little boys and dirty fangirls on Saturday nights. They don’t serve a purpose other than to provide groundwork for boring homosexual doujins. With that being said, in small doses homosexuality has the potential to complement the anime without poisoning the water supply.
Let’s look at the series I enjoy featuring homosexuals:
Saki
Lesbian sex is the most boring two and a half hours of petting I will never get back.
While the majority of the cast are lesbians, or discovering their lesbian potential; the actual show is about mahjong. The episodes were not stuffed full of boring scenes of lesbians fondling each other’s breasts and talking about feelings. Instead it focused on an underdog high school mahjong team aiming for the gold in a prefectural tournament against other lesbians with special mahjong powers and skillz (with a ‘z’). I think just about anyone can learn to appreciate a series packed with trials and tribulations. I started playing Reach Mahjong after watching Saki, but soon quit when I realized the tiles do not shoot out elemental powers or psychic energies. I felt like a Naruto fanboy practicing hand jutsus in the backyard.
Shinryaku Ika Musume
Sanae is a great character concept. While her intention towards Ika Musume come off as perverse and her motives are far from pure, she does possess a skewed sense of self-control that limits her activities to just barely being in rape-reach of Ika Musume. Furthermore, Sanae’s character development was top-notch for a gag comedy, and is unchallenged by the rest of the cast. The concern she expresses for Ika Musume in Season 2 Episode 8 shows that jokes aside, she earnestly cares for the well-being of Ika-Musume. Besides, her lust doesn’t stem from looks alone, but the associated tentacle whipping, choking and fin-slapping. She is not a major character, and I don’t know why I included this in the list.
Natsume Yuujinchou
There is no contention that Natsume Takashi is so desperate for friends that he has no qualms with sexing males, females or youkai. I still love this show, because it weaves thoughtful slice-of-life and supernatural into a heartwarming story that makes my balls curl. At no point did it cross my mind that Natsume would look adorable being boned; but if it ever happened, I would be very receptive of the idea because it would more than likely be presented in a soothing manner and be a major turning point in the plot. This show is not gay… at least not blatantly.
Nevermind...
Kannazuki no Miko
This show is not about lesbian shrine maidens as every DVD cover seems to portray. This show is about magical robots and ass-kicking. The first ten episodes didn’t even have any lesbian bits except for the boring scenes of the blue-haired girl crying in her room because she doesn’t have a dick, thereby missing out on all the fun of raping her best friend. She later solves this crisis using a flute in the manga.
Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito
This is a surreal project that covers every aspect of the human psyche. To simply call it a lesbian anime would be an understatement. It’s got incest, rape, murder, betrayal and trains! Watch three episodes and be mesmerized. Watch four episodes and fish your brain out of the aquarium that will soon occupy your reality.
But now that I think about it… there are not many series with homosexuals that do not suck.
Lesbians are the best.
Only if they’re sharing a man.
For definition that’s impossible.
Funny, for me its works in the other way.
I find the hetero romance boring. I only watch something like Clannad or Kanon.
And by the way, Kannazuki no Miko is about lesbian romance, the silly mechas and the yaoi brothers are background. :P
Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Nanoha, Mouretsu Pirates, Symphogear, Black Rock Shooter, Strike Witches, Mai Hime, Kanamemo, Yuru Yuri … everything is better with lesbians!!
I thought a fellow Terry Pratchett fan, of all people, would understand my plight better than anyone else.
The only reason I even watched Nanoha was due to a random screencap of Fate Testarossa swaddled within the tentacles of the Tome of Darkness. Tentacles represent one of the more obvious allusions to penis in popular Japanese media, and if you look closely through any good anime you will see the metaphors tucked away in plain sight:
guns = penis
towers = penis
swords = penis
trains = penis
cream = semen (a byproduct of… yes, penis)
Anything lacking this essential recipe for success is not worth watching. Case in point: Maria Holic, Candy Boy, Chu Bra, Yuru Yuri, Kanamemo,
Whoops, pressed ‘enter’ too early.
Aoi Hana, Kashimashi, Strawberry Panic, Marimite, Shoujo Sect, Gakuen Alice, etc.
And I know you’re going to start mentioning that Gravitation and Loveless has a lot of penis, but that doesn’t change the fact that those two series just suck.
Penis are overrated. =P (And you forgot drills).
I havent watched Gravitation and Loveless. I watch mostly yuri. In fact I need more yuri. Today shows doesnt have enough yuri. Give me more yuri and less male protagonists.
And dont make me talk about subtext… Im tired of subtext, I want plain text!!
And by the way, Candy Boy, Kanamemo, Aoi Hana, Kashimashi are awesome. And Yuru Yuri is one of the most funny things that I have watched lately along with Nichijou.
I find Yuri to be the dumbed down version of actual lesbian activities.
For example, normal lesbians like running their tongues over their partners’ body, all the while stimulating the various erogenous zones. The climax is a slow deliberate build-up of titillating all five senses. In fact, describing the whole ordeal is already making me tired from the ridiculous amount of effort it would take for me to rub one out to that garbage.
Yuri on the other hand involves holding hands, blushing, pecking each other on the lip, blowing into each other’s ears, smelling each other’s hair and maybe grabbing their breasts from behind every once in a while to keep things “fresh”. Oh my god. That’s even more boring than regular lesbian porn.
At least with men the formula is simpler, oftentimes beginning with fellatio and ending in some good old prodding with the meat stick… And that’s usually all it takes. =\
With men the formula is simpler… and 1000% more boring. At least for me. =P
Lesbian romance is more cute. Double the girls, double the cuteness
And by the way I want less subtext and more plain text. More open lesbian couples!! More on-screen kisses!!
What’s a man? A worthless pile of not yuri.
You might want to question your manhood if you can watch two girls make out and not wonder where your penis fits into the picture.
Girls with lesbian tendencies are only good for entertaining each other while you go to the kitchen to make yourself a sandwich.
I would be bored out of my mind if they make a lesbian anime with lesbians doing lesbian things.