Tag-Archive for ◊ J.C.Staff ◊

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• Friday, January 25th, 2013
Where do you think you're going? This ain't over.

Where do you think you’re going? This ain’t over.

This anime ended at episode 12. Yet it is still airing…

Many a people suggested this anime to me, based on two facts. One, they know nothing about me. Two, they assume I love eating shit. Now that we are done with the pleasantries, I can review this series more objectively.

Another healthy Saturday morning...

Another healthy Saturday morning…

Sakura dormitory is an aging building where the outcasts of high school are incarcerated, simply because they are too gifted for their own good. Our protagonist, Sorata, is not one of those gifted students. Sorata found himself under the roof of the Sakura dormitory when he discovered a bleeding vagina where his heart should be. This self-righteous little dick decided to pick up stray cats and feed them. Rule number one when dealing with stray animals is to NOT FEED them. As expected, he grows attached to the little pussies and is eventually evicted from the main dormitory. The only place that would allow these little flea magnets to run amok and breed is the asylum known to all the student body, the Sakura Dormitory.

This only makes sense if you watch this crap.

This only makes sense if you watch this crap.

Most of the running gags in this anime involve a standard slapstick called Tsukkomi and Boke. The intricate art involved in this Japanese-favored comedic routine requires detailed explanation and fine examples. I don’t have time for that, so I will apply minimal effort and butcher it as best I can. The “idiot” or “boke” will make a retarded statement, and the “fall guy” or “tsukkomi” will make a hilarious reaction along the lines of, “WHAT!?”

It’s… … … … actually not that creative.

Silly kid! Pumpkin panties are for toddlers!

Silly kid! Pumpkin panties are for toddlers!

So like I do with most sub-par anime, I became deeply engrossed and established high school social links with these fictional characters. I had a smile on my face at the end of the series, when everyone comes to terms with their own feelings. Yet the strangest thing happened two weeks later: Episode 13 came out. At first I was confused, since the beginning of the episode seemed to be a direct continuation of the story; but as it turns out everyone is suffering from a contagious form of amnesia. Nothing had changed to reflect the revelations of the past episode. No new relationships were spawned, no form of progress had developed, and the story had rescinded to an earlier part in the series where Sorata was still dealing with his own inadequacy and suffering from extensive jealousy towards the residents of the Sakura Dormitory.

I thought I had watched the episodes out of order, but I was wrong. This aggravating episode of pre-teen adolescence was the sequel to what I had assumed was character growth and self-discovery. My best guess is that someone out there is profiting by keeping this shit going. (Imagine that!)  I was starting to like Sorata by episode 12, but episode 13 reverted him back to the unlikable little dipshit that I always knew he was. As usual, without rhyme or reason, two hot girls are in love with the talentless little dunce. The only respectable male in this show — in my humble opinion — is Akasaka Ryuunosuke, who understands the dangers of unprotected sex and refuses the advances of slutty British hoes.

May all you boys grow up to be just like him!

May all you boys grow up to be just like him!

Today’s Lesson: If you want to be popular with the ladies, be an irresponsible deadbeat.